I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
