you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
