Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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