I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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