and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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