My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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