my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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