Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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