I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
