But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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