In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There r osticjed everywhere
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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