Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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