I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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