I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
