i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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