oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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