Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
