I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Acid is not a monday night drug
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
