ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your penis caused this!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
