They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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