So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
