dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
