i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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