Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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