the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
