My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
