gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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