I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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