I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
