i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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