Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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