what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did you just send me my own nude
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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