I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
