He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
