would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We left the knife in your bed.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
