What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
