they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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