thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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