someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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