Me. At least after what I've been through.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.