his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.