My liver just broke up with me...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
