Nicole vs. Life
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
