Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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(781): did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt? http://tfl.nu/bzrm

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(585): View more from New York

you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated

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(585): you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated http://tfl.nu/r9p5

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(925): View more from California

curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.

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(925): curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high. http://tfl.nu/vy6k

Replies (12) Good night (3050) Bad night (1398)
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(802): View more from Vermont

you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk

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(802): you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk http://tfl.nu/784w

Replies (28) Good night (10493) Bad night (1192)
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(904): View more from Florida

she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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(904): she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room... http://tfl.nu/wehm

Replies (8) Good night (3262) Bad night (1246)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.

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(717): What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese. http://tfl.nu/9uuf

Replies (10) Good night (5147) Bad night (988)
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(979): View more from Texas

I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...

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(979): I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to... http://tfl.nu/okbj

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(916): View more from California

Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.

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(916): Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you. http://tfl.nu/jbv6

Replies (11) Good night (3137) Bad night (1055)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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(704): I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though http://tfl.nu/2ftm

Replies (2) Good night (950) Bad night (1269)
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(954): View more from Florida

and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner

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(954): and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner http://tfl.nu/ab93

Replies (15) Good night (1452) Bad night (1013)
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(210): View more from Texas

I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

(210): View more from Texas

my parents really loved me back then.

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(210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue

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(845): View more from New York

And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

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(845): And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn. http://tfl.nu/8782

Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (439)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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(919): Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate. http://tfl.nu/d4gp

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes

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(267): Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes http://tfl.nu/att1

Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (488)
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(727): View more from Florida

If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.

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(727): If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs. http://tfl.nu/plpw

Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (278)

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