I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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