Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness