I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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