just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
