My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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