Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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