sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
