yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize