but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize