I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
