Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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