talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
