...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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