I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
