you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
