Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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